Mom Life, Parenting

The Guide to Lazy Parenting

I'm a lazy mom & i know it

So many mamas out there are truly making me look like not only a bad wife, but a horrible mom. I mean I give props to you because I just cannot get my crap together to actually be the ideal wife and mom. In true fashion, I gave up on both!

I love my sons and I enjoy their company, but I need a break from it all just to cope with the daily stresses of life. In the light of it all, I really enjoy lazy parenting with my hubby. From time to time, we stop and think about how awful parents we are. When I put it down in words though, we aren’t TOO bad.

The boys are crying, once again. Are they hungry, tired, hurt? Idk.

Okay…I am not so oblivious to my younger one’s needs. As for my 2 year old, I expect him to tell me what he needs or wants. Most of the time he just gets it himself.

Being a lazier mom has really made me a better person. I am no longer as stressed as I use to be and it has made sons more independent. Isn’t that what we strive for anyway?

Lazy Parenting #1 I ignore my kids

I hear ‘mama’ about 1,456,345 times a day. No, I am not exaggerating. Sometimes they just call me to tell me they farted or that they see our dog. Seriously…call me when you broke your leg or you and your brother are about to brawl…so I can make popcorn of course. I kid!!

Your child isn’t going to die if you ignore them as long as you tend to their basic needs. They will figure out to play on their own. And honestly, I don’t want to stop everything I am doing 10x just to figure out that my son doesn’t need anything at all. He just wanted to say my name.

Lazy Parenting #2 Diaper Changes

For the love of God, changing a toddlers diaper is like wresting a chimpanzee. Again, I always change my youngest son’s diaper as needed. As for my 2 year old, I really don’t enjoy being ninja kicked in the jaw and karate chopped in the throat on a regular basis.

I always ask my 2 year old if I can change his diaper. Most of the time he tells me no and I have to explain to him why it needs to be done. I just let him know that if he doesn’t put on a new diaper than he will get a rash on his butt. Then all of a sudden, he tears that pee soaked diaper off that has been causing him to walk like he is bow legged. I swear…he is so stubborn. Forcing him to change his diaper when he doesn’t want to causes him to throw a tantrum like you have never seen before. Surprisingly, explaining why things to need be done help him to understand the need behind it.



Lazy Parenting #3 To eat or not to eat

Trying to figure out what a toddler wants to eat is like asking my husband to put his laundry in the laundry basket. It will just never happen. I will list 10 different things to eat for breakfast and my son always answers no to me. Eventually, it will piss him off to the point that he feels it necessary to throw his tiny body on the floor and have a conniption.

Now, I never ask him what he wants. I make one thing, sit it on the coffee table while he watches his cartoons. He may or may not eat it. If not, then he will eat lunch or dinner. Kids eat when they are hungry, they certainly won’t starve themselves. I for one will not sit there attempting to shove food into my tiny demon child. He has teeth and I am not fond of being bitten.

Lazy Parenting #4 Speaking of cartoons…

My life saver…the TV! Who the hell invented this thing anyway? I mean seriously I could kiss your freaking feet! You have saved me from myself, time and time again.

I let my son watch ample amount of cartoons at certain times when I feel like I am about to lose my shit. I just became a mom of two and am having a difficult time managing. In order to get things done, I turn on cartoons (anything but Caillou – who the hell watches that crap anyway). It gives me 3o minutes to an hour to pull myself together or to feed my youngest. It even gives me time to PEE by MYSELF. Oh yes, you heard me right.

Lazy Parenting #5 I bribe my kid

Sometimes I give my son a lollipop…in exchange for time by myself. Or I give him a twizzler (his fav!), so that I can eat a meal. Or I even tell him that I will bring him swimming, only if he finishes a meal or stops throwing things at his brother. I don’t really think of it as a bribe, but more as a deal. I get what I want and so does he! See, you can reason with a child.

See, it wasn’t all that bad right? No need to call CPS on me now. If you want to be that parent that does it all, go for it!! I wish I had the time and energy. I like being a lazy parent! My son is more independent from me and wants to do things on his own…so I guess I am doing something right.

 

What are your lazy parenting tips?

And the lazy

 

 

6 thoughts on “The Guide to Lazy Parenting

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